One of the things that I've become keenly aware of in the last few months is the number of things I've tolerated versus the number of things I actually believe in/care about/participated in et cetera.
The thing about self-victimization is the fact that YOU (I) always get the opportunity to come out as the victim. You blindly avoid responsibility and eagerly shift that blame off to others. There is one kryptonite, if you will, for self-victimization: Keeping it real with yourself and others.
I've been becoming more brave in saying that there are some people, places and things that I'd rather not be bother with because I'm just not interested in them. I've forgiven myself about feeling bad when I say "no" to something that I actually don't want to participate in. I've quieted the things around me so that I can really HEAR myself. I realize that I only want to draw to me and my space the things that will grow and strengthen me. Not all of those things have to necessarily be good-feeling things. They just have to be self-actualizing things.
I encourage each of you to drown out some of the noise pollution around you. While it certainly won't win you any favorable glances from your friends/fam when you take a moment to withdraw, I encourage you to be completely unapologetic and HONEST when you need to take a moment to yourself/within yourself.
These moments of quiet have made me realize that it's been time for some serious house cleaning in my spiritual/mental/physical/emotional space. Some people/places/things/habits are taking up residency in my life that need to be filtered out. Some experiences need to be counted for the experiences that they are and not made into deeper, more meaningful moments that only existed on my end. I do believe in the concept of "reason, season and lifetime" and I think it's important that I stop turning "reasons and seasons" into "lifetime" experiences. I think it's important that I'm OKAY that everything doesn't have to have a life-changing impact; that some things are only meant to benefit me in the moment that I experience them.
I also think it's incredibly important to clean out the unused or misused space in my heart to make room for the new and improved things that God wants to implant there.
I had to get this off of my chest for so many reasons - the primary one being that I am my most valuable and best friend. I no longer want to bow down to the ideals and ideas of others just to be accepted. My own voice is a valid one.
I trust the way that I sound.